Gender Bias in the Workplace Video Funny
Gender bias in the workplace: How to concede and fix it?
"As an attractive woman, you will always have to work twice harder than anybody else in the room to be taken seriously" — said one of my first employers when I was 23 years old.
I have worked in small and large cities. I have worked in Europe and in the States.
Biased and discriminatory mentalities are not isolated issues. It is worldwide, it is present in men and women's minds. It is not always conscious but that does not make it okay anyway.
This is an open-minded talk about gender in the workspace. Educating and empowering the reader is important to start conversations that matter. I'll share personal, real-life examples to start and will give the freedom to the reader to draw his/her own conclusions/impressions:
When I was 23 years old, I used to work for a small firm in the South of France. One of my superiors made a disguised comment about the size of his penis while we were discussing internally our work progression on a client project. I immediately reported the matter to another superior. This leads to a meeting in the managing partner office (a man) with 3 other men at the table (all hierarchically above me) and included the superior with who I had an issue, to "discuss" the matter. You get the picture, I was the only woman at the table, the youngest, and of course, "I misunderstood what was said to me". I took it as an attempt to intimidate and dissuade a woman to speak up. I spoke up.
A different firm, at that time I was part of a large and global firm in Paris. Very quickly, I made a great impression with my work and received very good feedback. After the first review committee (that's when discussions for bonuses and raises happen), one man, who I never worked with, but who worked with one of my colleagues, shared a comment with him:
" Laura must have done something very "special" to those men because they are bragging about her!".
My colleague thought that was a funny joke. He came to me and shared it, laughing. I did not laugh.
This time, I was working with 2 men on a large client. A work trip to Japan was being organized. The 2 men were planning to go together. I thought — "Okay, it's an expensive trip, they are my superiors, no big deal." But when my direct superior had a family issue and could not make the trip, he naturally suggested me as a replacement for the trip. Our boss's response was
"I can't go with Laura, my wife will kill me!".
He brought me back a doll from Japan… I smiled, confused, and said nothing this time.
I was now in Los Angeles, CA, working for the same large firm. This happened the first month of my arrival and I was going to a meeting with my counselor, a woman from Europe, who moved to the States when she was younger. I thought — "How great! we have already few things in common, this is going to be very helpful for my transition". The first time I met the woman, she asked me right away if my ambitions were to become a Partner at the firm and if I was planning to have kids one day. My response was yes to all. Hers:
"You'll have to make a choice, you won't be able to become a Partner at the firm and be a good mother. Look at me, I had to choose, I am a Partner and I have no kids. And if you look around you, the few women Partners in LA don't have kids."
I disagreed politely and explained that I had seen brilliant women doing both so why not me?
This time the challenge happened with someone below me. I was already an experienced Manager at that time, and a young male staff had a very hard time receiving and executing instructions from a woman. At first, I thought, maybe he does not understand my French accent, but then a woman (American) in the team, below me but above him, came and shared the same impression. We set up a "test" and confirmed: the very same instruction delivered by a male in the team, even below him, was executed when it was not if it was coming from a woman even above him. I talked with him, he did not hear a thing of what I was pointing out. I tried to explain that for his career and future, he will need to learn how to work with women because it will happen again, women will give him instructions. He left the firm a few months after.
We are taught to fit in
Women are taught to fit in. Often a woman will hide her feminity (wardrobe, haircut, change her body language, attitude) hoping the men in the room will forget she is a woman.
Personally, my response to the uncomfortable was gaining weight. I try to hide behind extra pounds (almost 40lbs!), thinking I won't be attractive and that will fix the issue of being a woman in the corporate world. — Did not work.
Unconscious bias
Interestingly enough, studies have shown the way women's behaviors are perceived is different than when the same behaviors come from men.
Sheryl Sanders in her book Lean in points out a study from Columbia Business School professor Franck Flynn and New York University professor Cameron Anderson.
They ran a test around perceptions of men and women in the workplace. The case is about a real-life successful Tech entrepreneur with an outgoing personality, a large network, and various qualities that other powerful business leaders in the industry present.
Half of the students received the story of a male entrepreneur, the other half, a female entrepreneur.
The results showed:
The students rated as equally competent the male and female entrepreneurs.
However, the male entrepreneur was perceived as a more appealing colleague when the female entrepreneur came across as selfish and not the type of person you would want to work for. The very unique gender difference creates a difference in perception and impression.
Another unconscious bias noticed is that men at the top don't always realize the benefits they receive simply because they're men, not seeing the disadvantages associated with being a woman. And women will often lower down believing that men at the top are entitled to be there. Playing by the rules, trying to fit in again, they work harder to advance rather than raising their voices to share their concerns about the possibility of bias.
This implies tacit expectations from the Society, in the workplace, on how a woman "should" behave. I found it compelling because those expectations recognize that women and men are different! Meaning, women don't "have to" act like men. No need for women in the workplace to change and transform their nature to fit into the men's world.
How do we fix gender bias at work?
Be authentic, don't try to fit in
Authenticity in the workplace and your life is key. And by being authentic and your true-self you will never exhaust yourself in the ridiculous game of acting and pretending to be someone else.
I am personally very similar in my work and my personal life. I am keeping a professional image and I do not share all the details and secrets of my personal life in a work environment. I set my boundaries.
But the people who I work with, teams, partners, clients, they know me. And this has always been extremely rewarding.
Not everyone will like you, but so do you. Always keep it professional, but at least you will keep it true to yourself. And when people connect with you, they connect with the real you, and those relationships will last. If you find yourself trying hard to fit in, ask yourself then if this environment is the right one for you.
Support women in the workplace and put an end to biased behaviors
Opening up to these types of conversations is already an amazing start point. Talking about it helps to make the subconscious conscious. And if we want to transform minds and lead to changed behaviors we have to talk about it. This is not a female-only discussion.
"Because most of the managers are male, we need them to feel comfortable addressing these issues directly with female employees. When a woman sits on the side of the room, a man needs to be able to wave her over the table and explain why so she will know to sit a the table next time." — Sheryl Sanders Lean In
A behavioral study showed that both men and women are more likely to interrupt a woman and give credit to a man for an idea first proposed by a woman. When noticed, this behavior should be pointed out during the meeting. Coming from the top, this will make employees think twice.
Be open to talk about women's plans to have children and help them continue to reach for opportunities. These two are not incompatible.
Support junior-level females and help them to speak up. So much fear is associated with speaking up for yourself like it will make the situation worse, you'll get fired or penalized because you "complained".
Leaders, by supporting the younger generation, we will make the workplace a better place to work together.
Believe in yourself, you can do it all
You really can. You have already everything you need to make things happen for you, for your career.
Believe in yourself, sit at the table, seek and speak your truth.
There is no perfect fit or the perfect job. The perfect job does not exist and you will have to create it.
If you decide to stick in the corporate world, it will be your ability to learn and contribute quickly that will matter. You'll have to take an opportunity and transform it into what fits for you. You change the opportunity to make it fit for you not the other way around.
I would love to hear from you on the topic, experiences you had, thoughts to contribute to the discussion.
Source: https://medium.com/@laura_nowyouglow/gender-bias-in-the-workplace-how-to-concede-and-fix-it-62372a85599d
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